Monday, September 13, 2010


I am deeply thinking about myself. Someone today told me that I am a decent girl. I really don't understand what is that? Is decency is really good? People sometimes overtake you and you can't react in a bolder way because you are so polite and you can't say no to people. I want to say no and yes to people. Sometimes people doesn't consider that you have your own opinion. They thought that decent people can adjust with anythings and we don't need to consider them.

But when such people need any help from these decent people, they are not ashamed and sometimes it seems that they are ordering to poor decent. I hate those kind of persons who take decisions without taking care of others feeling..... The very selfish shameless people, only think about their own comforts and imposes their decision on others. If we tries to oppose it that makes you the person disliked by others. If you tried to adjust you have to adjust your whole life....

It is ok if you are adjusting something for those people who loves you or you are adjusting in love. But for these mean people Why? The answer for these when ever I asked to myself I got is like this, In a group you have to neglect this. But am not satisfied with the answer. It is not like that. In a group everyone has the equal importance. So it is all in me, mistakes in me. I don't want to be decent. I want little bit arrogant and rude too....... Who cares otherwise...???

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Lost Reminiscence.....

Sometimes I get surprised by the thing that how the memory plays a dynamic role in a person's life. In a life time we forget somethings and we remember somethings. Actually what I feel is there is no long term memory. We forget things as time moves on. In each season's of our life we think that this is the most amazing stage of our life and it will be there in the most sweet memories. But why time proves you wrong?

Ya memories get fade as the fallen leaves. Sometimes we found difficulties in recollect those moments we cherish and laugh from the soul. Is this only because of the changes happens around us or because we are all fake. Or I just feel it only because am in a state of nostalgia. I want to go back to those times were I live with all my spirits and my own innocence. No, but I didn't have any guilt in my mind.... obviously somewhere am wrong, but I can justify that.,,

I always believe that when I fall in Love with a person that is the most beautiful time in my life.....Is this is a reason that I didn't care what I really have? I never fell anywhere and I allows the sweet memories to dip in the depth of forgone...I wait for the natural happens and I miss whatever I have naturally..... Can I go back to the time when I walk to the way to my home between the paddy fields, I listen to the music of the nature, birds, and I receives that much of care some times I feel suffocate and tried to escape and really laugh from my heart. I never know that there is fake world outside my village.....I only see the innocent faces there and I enjoy each and every moments.....

But when I enter here where I am I forget those things and I participate in the race of beating the one who stands front of you and I saw people who can smile at you even they don't like you. Every one is running, no one is bother about each other, even though they acting like they really are.... Now I want to live my own ways, I want to smile at my heart, I want to live for me and my loved ones... I love my world and my thoughts and I hold my beautiful memories so that I can make my present and future as beautiful as they are... :-)